Over the past six months, Roxy has become a part of our family in a way that we never expected. After all, she is just a “brilliant silver” 2010 Ford Fusion- a mere material possession. Maybe it’s the fact that we practically lived in her as we traversed the country during the final days before our marriage ceremony. Or maybe it’s that she represented a connection to the country at large every time we passed a Ford dealership. It may sound stupid to you, but it is very real to us.

We spent our last moments with Roxy on the coldest, dreariest day of the year. We took some pictures, shot some video, and listened to her Sync voice one more time.  As she drove off to meet her maker (Jason Camp of the Los Angeles Media Fleet Division), Chris and looked in the opposite direction to keep from bawling. We will miss Roxy, but the bottom line cost of purchasing a car of her quality just doesn’t jive with our current financial goals.

To borrow from Marley and Me, I have these final words about Roxy, arguably the world’s greatest car:

“What I really wanted to say was how this car had touched our souls and taught us some of the most important lessons of our lives. Roxy taught us about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. She taught me to appreciate the simple things- a drive into the sunset, singing along to the radio, and traveling between the cities of the people you love most.”

Side note: To all the asshats who thought we changed our name to Ford because we wanted to get free stuff, I hope you’ll now find someone else to verbally assault. We’re Fordless Fords… and we’re cool with that.

For the overly serious of you (and yes, I know who you are), I jest. The trip rocked and I loved almost everything. So when I tell you about my favorite food, it’s not because I didn’t have forty other homemade meals that were delicious. Everyone was a fantastic “guest” and treated us really well. Even those with dogs that tried to mount us (true story!). So here are some random favorites…

Best Mix CD

Many had asked about which was the best CD we were given at our Red Devil Lounge Kickoff party, and the winner was Colleen Crouch, who amazed us with a large collection of This American Life, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Savage Love, and mashups.

But we had dozens of other great ones, and Erin Camarena, Christina Kerby, and Matt Caywood all deserve shout-outs.

And so does Evan Hayden for having the balls to start a CD with Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John…which totally rocked.

Prettiest Drive

We live in a very good looking country! I know you grew up with her, and see her a lot, but clear your mind and look at her again. Yup, she’s not just the kid you went to elementary school with – she’s HOT!

Take that, Europe, you cold bitch.

We saw lots of great scenery, some surprising (West Texas, Kentucky, northeastern Oregon) and others expected (Mount Shasta, the St. Petersburg-Clearwater Bridge). My favorite though was the drive from Denver to Santa Fe – first the green eastern slope of the Rockies, with towering mountains in the distance and pancake flat plains below, then through a pass to New Mexico, stark and striking, with its bleak yellow mesas shadowed by the occasional solitary cloud.

Funnest Drive

Since New Mexico appears to have a population of 17 people, it’s light on the highway patrol. Roxy got to visit 110 MPH for a little while…though Jaime hit 112 in Utah. The hairpin turns on Independence Pass above Aspen were also a ball, although Jaime was sure we were going to die. So for high speed entertainment, I recommend driving from Utah into Arizona on I-10 through the video game-inspired Virgin River valley – sheer walls of rock, constant turns, and steep downward grade.

Funniest Drive

The Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale drive, featuring the stunning St. Petersburg-Clearwater Bridge and the arcade game danger of Alligator Alley – where I honestly expected a two lane road threatened by snapping gators. It’s actually quite dull but the entertainment value for Jaime when I shared my vision made it a lot more fun. And driving through Florida is accompanied by its insane collection of billboards that advertise—in succession—porn, an end to abortions, and vasectomies. These themes may be related.

Best BBQ

Mark’s Feed Store of Louisville does have some good BBQ, but Chad Pilbeam of greater outer Houston left work two hours early to mesquite smoke two whole chickens. And it was outstanding.

Craziest Drivers

Hands down, the people of Cleveland, who were apparently texting constantly or were blowing a 0.8. Genuinely scary driving with people swerving between lanes or slowing down to 40 on the interstate then speeding up to 70.

Best Restaurant (that we went to on our own)

I’m not going to evaluate the places people took us, because there is no way I could pick a favorite. But we had some lunches and dinners on our own, with the far and away standout being Magnolia’s Restaurant in Charleston, South Carolina. Fried chicken, pork shoulder, a crab cake…it was rich, unhealthy, and delicious.

Ha ha, what a coincidence, since that was their main piece of advice for us. Our whirlwind tour of Lewuhvill (as properly pronounced, “like you have a mouth full of marbles”) began with brunch, then segued into a tour of ducks, waterfront parks, and the Louisville Slugger and Churchill Downs museums. After that warmup, Dave and Fox took us to the 21C Hotel downtown for a drink and a tour of the coolest art museum south of the Ohio River.

Dinner was at a fine Mexican restaurant, whose name escapes me, with dessert at a local pie and ice cream shoppe where we fell in love with derby pie. It was something like chocolate, caramel, and calories combined. Dave and Fox, we are blaming you for both pounds we gained on the trip.

Somewhere in between mouthfuls, Dave and Fox shared their marriage advice for us: balance. Meaning…

• one person cannot do it all, you need to share responsibility
• focus and passion needs to be tempered with patience and perspective
• day to day accomplishments must be weighed against long-range goals

It’s hard to argue with these points, but we’re doing so anyway, given how independent Jaime and me both are. But I think we’ll have many years to fine tune our approach. Until then, we’ll remain a little imbalanced.

This past Sunday, we had the chance to wine and dine with my Aunt Jeri and Uncle Jim. Both on their second marriages, they talked candidly about the mistakes they had made in the past and what they had learned from their previous circumstances. While both ended up with two great kids, they admitted that when they got married the first time, they thought it would be forever.

But in this instance, second time’s a charm. Jim met Jeri while managing the apartment building where he lived. When Jim decided to ask Jeri out, she shut him down quickly, letting him know that dating someone in her building was a conflict of interest.

He put in his thirty day notice the next afternoon.

Their marital preamble was short and sweet, culminating in an engagement that involved a limo and a trip to New Orleans. They were married in Lake Tahoe a year later and have now been together for almost twenty years. A few years into the relationship, they were also “blessed” with my cousin, Paul. I put “blessed” in quotations because I am still bitter about the time that he beat me at a game of chess when he was only seven years old (I was 25). They have built a beautiful family, and both Chris and I always look forward to catching up with Jeri and Jim’s latest adventures.

Over the past two decades, Jeri and Jim have never contemplated divorce, no matter how trying times have been. Considering they raised three teenagers together and are now on their fourth, this is an achievement that is Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. When they instructed that divorce should never be an option for us, I balked immediately. If divorce had not happened in my own family, I wouldn’t have my younger brother, my stepdad, or some of my greatest Ventura memories. While I’d never advocate it as a first choice, is it really the big, bad demon that society has deemed it to be? I appreciate the sentiment, but is it reality?

Let me set one thing straight: I am not going into a marriage Chris with a plan to ditch him for a new model. I’m diving into marriage with everything I’ve got, which will hopefully translate into a lifetime together. But I’m also not going to say that a divorce could never happen. To make a statement like that requires me to be able to forsee the future, something I’ve yet had the power to accomplish, no matter how many books on E.S.P. I’ve read.

And then came Will and Jenny’s wedding. Will is my younger brother’s best friend and one of the nicest, most sincere people I’ve ever met. His fiancee (now wife) is an exquisite woman with a perfect sense of humor and an incredible ability to put people at ease. The two met at a USC tailgate party and were instantly smitten. The rest, as they say, was history.

After spending the afternoon and evening surrounded by the love and admiration of Will and Jenny’s friends and family members, I can honestly say that I am looking at our ceremony in a new light. Vows shared in secret can never compare to a day filled with the love and light of the people you care about most.

At this point, if you are not a regular reader, you may be saying, “Wait, I thought they did a road trip instead of a wedding.” Actually we did a road trip in lieu of a huge event, visiting many of our out of state family and friends, but are still having a ceremony and dinner for some local family and friends.

Speaking of guests, we are also getting RSVPs from the invitees. Understandably, there are some regrets. But we have had at least one pleasant surprise – Roxy will be at our wedding!

Monday was the original date of her return to the media fleet, but Ford Motor Company has graciously allowed us to keep her for a few more weeks so we can keep Wedding Road Trip going. We’ve continued interviewing friends and family in California, and Roxy Fusion will be helping us visit places like Fresno, Los Angeles, Marin, and San Luis Obispo. If you’re coming to the wedding, be sure to say hello to her- she’ll be driving us up the aisle.

Just kidding. We’re not corporate shills.

Over-scheduled.

Within the next month:

We will say goodbye to Roxy. (Right now it’s scheduled for next week, but we’re hoping to keep her through the end of the trip.)
We will get married.
We will find an apartment.
We will attend a wedding.
We will interview at least fifty more people.
Chris will work.
I will attempt to work.
I will attend a bachelorette party and a wedding shower.
We will both try not to kill each other.

With uncertain jobs, transitioning apartments, and a future that’s full of overcast San Francisco weather… it’s hard not to dream of being back in Louisville, worrying about duck attacks. I can’t wait to get back on the road Friday, when we head down to Ventura to interview some of our Southern California peeps.

While I was gone, I must admit that I didn’t miss you too much. But that was understandable, because we were pretty busy – visiting friends and family, driving through incredible nature, and whale watching.

Now that I’m back, I want to give a shout out to the things that I missed – my friends of course, many of whom came out for a raucous kickoff party, and the combination of mountains and water so rare in an urban environment. But I also missed…

• Good food at our favorite local restaurants Patxi’s, Velvet Cantina, and Alamo Square Grill
• Amazing coffee – really, the best in the world – from Martha & Bros and Blue Bottle
• Local cafes like Central Coffee (where I am now), Café Abir, and The Grove
• The Kabuki movie theater, where you can get assigned seats and buy beer and wine, all in a beautiful facility not geared toward 14-year old boys hepped up on giant, refillable Cokes
• Live music at some of the best venues anywhere, such as The Fillmore, The Independent, Café du Nord, the Great American Music Hall, and the Greek Theatre
• Incredible fresh fruit and avocados – and thank you to all our friends that allowed us to order guacamole whenever possible.

Crazy Homeless Guy, probably somewhere in SF right now

That said, I did not miss batshit crazy homeless people everywhere, fog, very smelly buses, $26 billion budget deficits, and super expensive rent. In fact, San Francisco, while I love you, there are a lot of other cities in the US that are eating your lunch. So though it pains me, I’ve got to tell you who does it better.

• NYC has way better parks and street trees. Every neighborhood seems to have a beautiful square filled with lawns, benches, and ball fields, and almost every street is lined with huge trees. Really, San Francisco, get with the tree program.
• Chicago has a city government that is actually progressive and gets things done (green roof program, Millennium Park) rather than occupying itself with posturing and giving into navel-gazing special interests.
• Louisville’s art scene was the best I’ve seen in a long time, between the waterfront park and the 21C Hotel gallery.
• Salt Lake City and Denver have better weather and more awesomer mountains.
• Downtown Seattle has more buzz going on than SF, with its museums, sports stadiums, central business district, main shopping area, and waterfront all within one compact area – which is loaded with turn-of-the century brick buildings.
• Portland is better for biking, with bike lanes and boulevards clearly marked everywhere. And if even if you don’t bike, that takes cars off the road and people out of buses and trains, so transportation is easier for everyone.
• Last but not least, Detroit has cooler buildings. Yes, many of them are in ruins, but even the intact mansions and skyscrapers are world-class.

So, San Francisco, you’re wonderful and there’s a lot to like about you. But don’t believe your own hype too much, and don’t go raising rents like crazy, because there’s some real competition out there.

Love, Chris

Carolyn is the reason for the season, namely, why half of Wedding Road Trip is traipsing through the land of ten thousand lakes: Minnesota. Last night we wined and dined at Northcoast, with Carolyn’s mother and her sister Margaret, who got married this past May in Carmel.

Words that don’t describe Margaret: quiet, reserved, boring, and expressionless.

Words that might describe Margaret: off-the-wall, animated, and endlessly entertaining.

When dealing with the whole name change thing, Margaret got creative and added her middle name (Mary) to her first name. She then moved her super-cool surname to the middle slot and took her husband’s name to finish the whole thing off. I really respect her attachment to all four names and the logical way she put it all together. When Carolyn and Margaret have kids, they are planning on using their maiden name as their sons’ first names. While our friend Colleen thinks this might confuse some people, I think it’s kinda cool for these future cousins to share something so important to both Carolyn and Margaret.

Totally not related, but worth noting: Northcoast offers blankets to guests, which they can use throughout the duration of their dining experience. If only a certain foggy city (cough, cough San Francisco) would do the same, dining in the great outdoors might be possible during the summer months.

This morning, as she drove Chris and me to Crunch, she even complimented me on my slightly-more-toned physique. We then shared a b0nding moment as Lady Gaga played over the radio. When the song finished, Chris uttered a sentence that stopped me cold:

“I could live outside of the City now, I mean, if you want to. I don’t think I mind driving anymore.”

I’m sorry, what? This from the guy who swore he’d never live outside of the City, would never drive a car more than once a month, and would never consider living somewhere like Napa or Sonoma and commute in a few days a week.

If he tells me that he’ll also live in a gated community (the equivalent of death to all urban planners), I will fully believe that Ford has been serving him the good punch behind my back.