To prepare, I’ve devised a list of rules for couples that are nearing the one-year anniversary mark. Note: I fully sanction you to disregard these rules until your first anniversary has passed.

After your first anniversary, thou shalt not:

• … use a wedding photo as your profile picture on Facebook. Yes, you look beautiful in your wedding pictures. But I’m guessing you also looked beautiful at least once over the past year.
• …still be writing your thank you notes. Granted, someone may have just given you a wedding gift, which means that you should respond accordingly. But if you’re still writing notes to your nearest and dearest for gifts received more than ten months ago, you’d better have a good excuse. Note: Jail is not a good excuse. Everyone knows that inmates have plenty of time to write letters.
  
• … still be angry with your bridesmaids or groomsmen for something they did/didn’t/could’ve/should’ve done during your wedding. They’ve already forgotten about your wedding and have moved on to something more important… the present day. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time in the future to screw up their special days too.
• … count the length of your marriage in months. There are few things more annoying than someone who says, “Our child is thirty-two and a half months.” No one should have to whip out a calculator to figure out how old your child is. Similarly, a marriage is counted in years, sometimes half years, after the first one is complete. Acceptable phraseology includes, “just over a year,” “a year this past August, ” and “a year and a half in December.”
• … be an active member of The Knot community forums. At least move on to The Nest. It’s all about progression, baby.

And the most important former newlywed commandment is…

Thou shalt not get pregnant because you feel pressured, are bored, or want to be the center of attention. I’m all for populating the Earth, but relax! Enjoy another day, month, or (gasp!) even year of marriage before you jump back into the fire.

• Your spouse has to work late with an attractive co-worker several times a week.
• You gain weight while your spouse just keeps getting hotter.
• An ex-partner contacts your spouse and asks to meet up.
• Children enter the equation, reducing your sex life to holidays and long weekends.
• Your spouse gets drunk and hooks up with your best friend because he or she has been secretly wanting that person for years.

The whole cheating thing is not so far-fetched. After all, a recent story in The Week contended that men and women are not biologically created to be monogamous. According to Truth About Deception, thirty to sixty percent of all married individuals will “engage in infidelity at some point in their marriage.”

So how do you know if your husband or wife has a bit on the side? Get ready for the world’s most obvious answer…

ASK.

That’s right. Have a conversation. Sit down and actually look at one another. As you’re talking, make sure to pull out a copy of US Weekly or Star magazine. Of course, this advice only applies to couples like Bill/Hillary Clinton and Tiger Woods/Elin Nordegren. For everyone else, Truth About Deception offers other signs:

• Your spouse suddenly needs more space. (Note: this does not mean that when your wife asks for her own home office, she’s really looking for a new spot to bang the postman.)
• Your spouse seems bored with you, family, work, or home life. (Note: if other people also fall asleep while you are talking, you might be the problem, not infidelity.)
• Your spouse doesn’t care about having sex. (Note: Well, at least not with you.)
• Your spouse keeps his or her cell phone hidden. (Note: this doesn’t give you the license to start policing his text messages, phone calls, and iPhone app collection.)

Now, before you go all Nancy Drew and start looking for evidence that might not even exist, ask yourself if you really and truly believe there’s spousal shadiness going on. You may just be feeling insecure about yourself and passing that discomfort on to your better half. Remember the famous words of the doctor of love himself, Ice Cube, “check yourself before you wreck yourself.”