Day 34: Jaime and Chris Plus Zero
It happened at a moment when I was least expecting it. Sitting here at a table in Wausau, Wisconsin working on the website as both Chris and my friend Jason sit typing away on their own computers. We were talking about relationships when Jason said to me, “you seem kind of heartless.” At first I thought he was joking, but then I realized that he was absolutely serious. When he stepped away from the table, I turned to Chris and said, “do you think I’m too hard on you?” He looked at me, shrugged and said, “that’s just your public persona. You’re not like that when we’re alone.”
And then it hit me: I’m Kate Gosselin. Well, Kate Gosselin without the TV cameras, the butch haircut and the eight kids. I put down my fiancé’s constant need for affection in public and then privately hug and kiss him as needed. I brag about how independent I am while simultaneously selling him out for being overly emotional.
I. AM. THAT. WOMAN.
Damn it.
Now I have to do something about it- I can’t claim ignorance anymore. I’m going to have to be sweet and nice or my future husband is going to have an affair with some twenty-three-year-old that he meets at a local bar. Then they’re going to go skiing in Aspen while I celebrate my 34th birthday alone.
I’d write more, but I’m going to go kiss Chris’s ass now before things get out of control.
P.S. Chris: I don’t think you’re anything like frumpy, grumpy John. I swear. And no. I don’t want eight children.
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