After dinner in downtown Montclair, we returned to James and Wendy’s place for the interrogation. I mean, interview. They met in a coffee shop in a Detroit suburb, got married eight months later, and have been together for a good six years plus. The lesson? Sometimes you need to just go for something and make it work.
They had a few other insights on love and happiness. In a marriage, learn to accept one another’s differences. Wendy accepts that James sometimes likes to wander around with no specific direction, while James is okay with the fact that Wendy includes shopping as one of her hobbies. Along that front, James works some serious Wall Street hours (think, past midnight times seven days a week), which could lead Wendy to wonder whether he’s really in the office, or if he’s actually at the Off Track Betting parlor. But Wendy doesn’t see the value in questioning whether James is downgrading the bond ratings of companies or betting on Seabiscuit – she can either trust him or not.
On finances, they’ve taken turns being the breadwinner, first Wendy when James was in grad school and now James, though Wendy does work a full-time job. (Note: Wendy mentioned that she may need to put in some overtime to cover than Chanel purse she’s been craving.)
The final thing I learned is not related to marriage. In Grand Theft Auto, when you crash a car too much and it starts to smoke, get out right away as it’s about to blow up. Hopefully that information won’t be relevant on our Wedding Road Trip with Roxy.
As a child, one of my favorite attractions at Disneyland was Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. I used to make my dad sit through it several times in a row, each time hoping that he’d pretend that we really would run into a wall or get bulldozed by an uncoming train. He never failed me, which is really just a small view into my dad as a whole- a man who has continually supported my sometimes crazy dreams and has always known how to have a little bit of fun.
I never, ever thought I’d have the chance to experience Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in real life. And then I met Brender.
Brender is a friend of Chris’s from undergrad. He’s smart, funny, hardworking and just a little bit nuts. I’d had the opportunity to meet him and his wife Wendy a couple of times back in San Francisco and can honestly say I am nowhere closer to figuring him out. Hanging out with Brender is what I’ve always imagined an acid trip might be: colorful, wild, and a little unpredictable.
When Chris and I arrived in New Jersey this afternoon, it was pouring rain in a way that said, “San Francisco misses you.” Brender, who had decided to work from home for the day, immediately poured Chris a drink and dropped on to the couch to watch American soccer and to play Grand Theft Auto. Meanwhile, I absconded upstairs to try to resuscitate my dying Mac.
Four hours later, Chris came upstairs to let me know that we needed to leave to go meet his wife Wendy at a nearby restaurant. Brender asked me to drive, as both he and Chris were now two to three drinks into the afternoon. Since Roxy’s always up for an adventure, we jumped in the car and drove off.
The following is a transcription of what happened, as best as I can remember it:
Jaime: So, we’re meeting Wendy at 5:30?
Brender: Na, she can’t meet us till 7:00.
Jaime: We’re only five minutes from the house. I can drive back.
Brender: We’ll just drive around for awhile.
A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:
Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left there. Oh well. That was a cool place. We’ll see something else.
A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:
Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left there. Oh well. That was a cool place. We’ll see something else.
A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:
Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left-
Without listening to the rest, I slammed my foot into the pedal, wrenched Roxy to the left and flew over the median and into a parking lot.
Jaime: Let me guess, we’re about to see something cool.
Turns out, we did. Brender had led us to an overlook that showcased a spectacular view of New Jersey, with a distant slice of New York City. I would show you a picture, but of course it was the day that I decided to leave my camera at home because it was raining and we were heading straight to dinner (cough, cough).
Back in the car, we drove through Montclair, which is filled with houses that make Bel Air mansions look tiny. Meanwhile:
Brender: You can turn left at some point if you want.
Jaime: If I “want”?
Brender: Ya, just somewhere around here.
Jaime: Like here?
Brender: Sure, if you want.
Eventually we ended up at our destination of downtown Montclair. We walked down the street for about ten minutes before Brender made a quick left into a small restaurant. If I hadn’t been paying attention, he would have disappeared and Chris and I would still be walking through Montclair as we speak. Inside, Wendy sat waiting. I looked at my phone, which read 6:15pm.
Jaime: I thought you said she was coming at 7pm?
Brender: I guess she’s here now.
And just like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, we drove up to a little patch of sunshine and all was well again.
We didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s screen. Honestly, we didn’t. When Chrissy said that she was replacing her windows and wouldn’t mind us climbing through one to get into the house, I took her at her word. As I documented the event using our trusty Canon Rebel, Chris worked his way into the house, where he was greeted by The Cat Formerly Known As Tom. Tom has never been Mr. Svelte, but he has gained a sizeable ass since our last meet and greet. Then again, after more than twenty days on the road, so have we. T.C.F.K.A.T. has a new little friend, who I like to call Mouthy. Mouthy has something to say about pretty much everything, including the fact that Chris almost nosedived into the kitty litter box when crawling through the window.
So no, we didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s screen. I swear.
We also didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s guest bedroom doorknob. It just “happened.” There I was, toweling off after a shower, when Chris tried to re-enter the room. MRS. HODGES, I WAS FULLY CLOTHED, I PROMISE. Trouble was, Chris couldn’t open the door once it was shut. I passed him a screwdriver under the door and he proceeded to take off the knob. Nothing. Embarrassed and frustrated, he called Chrissy, who was still at work. He also got in contact with Alina, the friend we were supposed to be meeting for drinks. I just sat in the room and Twittered, which sounds really dirty but isn’t.
A half an hour later, there was a knock on the front door. Chris, still in his towel, answered the door to find J.C. and Liz, friends of Chrissy and Matt. JC quickly went to work by climbing a ladder up to the second floor, where he instructed me on how to remove the hinges. Twenty minutes later I was free, thanks to my super hot screwdriver skills.
Chrissy and Matt, we vow to keep our hands to ourselves for the rest of the visit.
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