wedding road trip

After All, It’s Just a Business

It’s the most important day of your life.

It’s the day you’ll always remember.

It’s your “special day.”

These are just a few of the cliches you’ll hear within seconds of getting engaged. When you look at each statement, one word stands out:

It’s the most important day of your life.

It’s the day you’ll always remember.

It’s your “special day.”

Yep, brides and grooms, it’s all about you. And vendors know that.

In fact, if a vendor to bride conversation were to be entirely honest, it might go something like this:

Vendor: I really want you to choose Grown In My Backyard Flowers! We’d love to do your wedding! We’ll make it the most beautiful day ever! Your roses will be so fat that they’ll get approached by Weight Watchers! I am going to just keep talking until you tell me that you want us to do your flowers! Still talking! Yep, talking!

Bride: Um… ya. Sure. I’d love for you to do the flowers for our wedding. How much will it cost? Please keep it on the cheap. I’m already over  budget.

Vendor: Here at Grown in My Backyard Flowers, we think that getting married deserves a twenty percent surcharge! If you were just throwing a regular party and not calling it a wedding, we’d probably give you the flowers for half price.

Bride: Well, that sounds reasonable… I guess.

Vendor: Great… the contract will be in your inbox tomorrow morning.

A week passes. The contract finally arrives. The Bride immediately calls the Vendor.

Bride: Hi, Vendor, I’m confused. The name of your business is Grown in My Backyard Flowers, yet you’re importing my roses from Sweden?

Vendor: Well, honey, you waited until the last minute to order. Roses are out of season.

Bride: But my wedding is a year away! And aren’t roses perennial flowers?

Vendor: Honey, all the good florists are booked by now. You’ll just have to add a little more cash to your flower budget. Call your daddy. I’m sure he’ll pitch in.

Bride: Wait… if all the good florists are booked by now, what does that make you?

Vendor: The florist that is going to have you eating SPAM out of the can for the next six months.

In the Beginning… There Were Facts

1.    The wedding industry is called an industry for a reason.

2.    The average wedding costs $27,832.

3.    In 2005, a New York couple charged their guests $150 a head to help them pay for their $51,000 wedding.

4.    70,000 job cuts at major firms were announced today.