Top Ten Worst Wedding Favors in the History of Mankind
#10: The Green Apple
As a kid, I hated getting green apples while trick or treating… why would they be ANY better as a wedding favor?
#9: The Fake Bird’s Nest
Yes, yes, I know these are supposed to be Jordan almonds. But c’mon… do I really want to imagine a baby bird while I eat them? Crunch… crunch…
#8 The Free Tree Favor
Yay! A free tree that I can plant in honor of Mr. Schmo and Mrs. Schmoett in… the concrete outside my apartment in San Francisco.
#7 The Decoration That’s Disguised as a Favor
Look! It’s a present for me! It’s… a sparkler that I can use to send off the happy couple!
#6 The Favor That Kills the Environment
There’s nothing quite like 100 plastic bottles of water to say, “ozone layer? what ozone layer?” Plus, water should be a given, damn it, NOT a favor.
#5 The “Why Not Get Lung Cancer While You’re At It?” Favor
Note to people who plan to give out cigars as favors- approximately FIVE people will enjoy getting a cancer stick as a favor. The other 95 will hate you for eternity when the other five start smoking them at your reception.
#4 The Golf Ball Candle
There are no words for this. None.
#3 The Pseudo Polly Pocket Favor
Wanna grill up some fake hamburger meat, pardner? A bottle of BBQ sauce= useful. A mini BBQ set= FAIL.
#2 The Fake Alcohol Favor
You think you’re getting a nice little bottle of bubbly. But no, you’re getting a crappy fake champagne bottle full of bubble bath. NOT. FAIR.
#1 The Gross Wedding Favor That Makes You Want to Hurl
Because nothing says love quite like eating your second cousin’s face.
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