Part One had us at Ideya, a Caribbeanish restaurant in SoHo with tropical drinks at the low low New York price of eleven dollars per cocktail. Can you imagine if there was a recession? Meeting us there were Ken and Natacha, two good friends of ours who live two blocks from Jaime in San Francisco. Naturally, we also ran into them on the streets of Manhattan. Jaime was in the middle of a crosswalk, furiously texting on her Blackberry (she would do this in the shower if she could get away with it), when Ken walked by and asked if she was texting him. Startled, she promptly invited them to drinks. They regaled us with tales of the rock opera wedding they had just attended over the weekend, a concept that makes our Wedding Road Trip pale in comparison.

The other guests were student colleagues of mine from grad school. Now living in NYC, Whitney, Ray, Jodie, and her boyfriend Rod came together so we could reminisce on the joys of not sleeping for two years and writing a thesis in 20,000 words or less. None of them had met Jaime, so rather than subject them to an interview about marriage, we got to know one another and caught up, though we’re pretty up to date due to my annual visits to New York (hint: come to SF for a change). Beyond being good friends, it’s also good to hear the state of the urban planning industry in other cities, and tell zoning jokes. (I’m kidding. I’m a nerd but not that bad).

Way too soon, 8 PM appeared and we hailed a taxi for Part Two….

This was also the interview where Jaime met her match. Jed and Jaime debated the appropriateness of one question for seemingly hours, which allowed Bea and I time to catch up and make fun of them both. Still, it seems that Jaime missed her calling as a lawyer, since she battled Jed to a draw.

One of the major challenges that Bea and Jed face in their marriage is how to juggle raising a one-year old while maintaining intense careers – an issue in which we have a great deal of interest. One part of their solution is a nanny, which takes up a chunk of income but who provides childcare, bilingual instruction, cleaning, and cooking. The last may be the best part, since when you get home from work at 9 PM (typical in New York) it is a godsend to have dinner waiting. (I guess if we were really good guests, we would have made dinner for them, but hey it’s our wedding.) The other solution is that one of them goes to work a little late each morning, getting a chance for some one-on-one time with Sebastian.

Beyond that, they showed us the strength that friendship can play in a relationship. They’ve known each other for over 15 years, and that allows them to operate in total comfort with one another. So maybe by the year 2022, Jaime and I will have a totally comfortable, drama-free marriage and can start thinking about having kids.

On Day 2 of New York, we traveled to Hell’s Kitchen (G to the E, if you’re keeping score) to see my friend Merrill for lunch. Merrill and I met in college and have kept in touch ever since due to our mutual interest in international politics. Merrill is an incredible world traveler and over the years has sent me postcards from exotic venues like Nepal, Finland, and Indiana.

I am happy to report that our Wedding Road Trip outfits were taking a break for cleaning, and so we met Merrill in civilian clothes. And, in that spirit, we spent most of the lunch discussing reality television rather than marriage. So we don’t have any pithy insights from Merrill to report but honestly just talking to a friend about something other than weddings, kids, and relationships was a treat. Merrill is such a calming spirit who can tame even the crankiest of road trip beasts. So Merrill, thanks for saving us from ourselves for at least one hour.

There, I said it. I thought maybe I’d make it the entire trip without lamenting the Golden Gate City, but it isn’t so, Joe. As we drive into New York City, which I refer to internally as the Gauntlet portion of our trip (aka most people in the shortest amount of time), my mind turns to the phrases that Chris and I have uttered approximately 425 times on this trip.

To keep things entertaining, I have decided to create a little contest for the 100+ people we have yet to visit. Here’s how it works:

1. Carry a score pad in your pocket when you visit with us. Mark the pad with a tick every time we say or do one of the phrases or actions listed below. If you own an iPhone, make sure to download our Wedding Road Trip Bingo app to play along.*

2. Double points if we say or do any of the things listed below more than twice in one hour.

3. Person with the highest score will receive a special prize once we return home.

4. If we’ve already visited you, you can calculate your score post-visit, but we have the right to challenge your memory.

Phrases:

• “We met in line for the portapotties.”
• “Everyone we’ve seen has been wonderful.”
• “I am so tired of wearing this (road trip tux|road trip dress).”
• “I’m not really a car person, but the Fusion (rocks|is the best car|is amazing).”
• “Chris is taking three weeks vacation and the rest unpaid.”
• “I’m from Michigan- no not Detroit.”
• “We didn’t want to have that one “perfect” day.”
• “We’re not sure anymore if we want (kids|a dog|a house|to get married).”
• “I want to go to Branson.”
• “This is so much cheaper than San Francisco.”
• Any mention of the word “whittling.”
• Any mention of the name “Scott Monty.”

Actions

• Jaime leaves something behind that has to be shipped to the next location.
• Chris comes up with a random bit of obscure trivia.
• Jaime glares at Chris for chewing too loudly.
• Jaime and Chris take everything out of the car to do a complete re-org.
• Jaime tries to explain the green box/purple box car organization system.

Side Note:
*where in the hell do you think I found the time to create a Wedding Road Trip app for the iPhone? Shame on you. Get a pad of paper and a pen and play the old school way.