wedding road trip

The Phantom Toll Booths

Driving around the US for six weeks requires dealing with toll roads. And we have a problem with this. No, this isn’t a political position, a la the Great Flat Tax Debate. Rather, we tend to screw up the whole toll paying activity.

This has been a recent issue, because 90% of the tolls in America appear to be on the East Coast. After blissful, toll-free driving through most of the West, we visited Florida’s Turnpike (its actual dumb name) and for three hours of driving received a bill for $14. WTF? That would be OK if they allowed us to drive at 110 MPH, but instead there was a state trooper stationed every mile to ensure we drove 65.

The issue revolves around the electronic payment systems that many toll roads use. We don’t have a transponder, so we need to use the one cash booth that’s randomly located three lanes from the right. If you accidentally pick one of the other 23 toll booths, you’re stuck – there’s no way to pay the toll. Instead a camera picks up your license plate number and sends you a fine. (Sorry, Scott! We’ll pay it, we promise.) This has happened to us twice already, and almost a third time, but Jaime took evasive lane-changing action just so we could pay the New York Thruway $1.75.

Toll roads also deliberately mislead you. This happened in downtown Houston where road signs urgently demanded that we take I-10 – which I was pretty sure I was on – failing to mention that the exit was actually for a toll express lane that required an electronic transponder. Stupid.

So is there a worthy analogy in here? Yes, because there are some days with Jaime where I feel like I’m paying a toll every hour