It struck me today that getting married means that certain days of my life are numbered:

118 days left of dissecting life with Janet while watching The Bachelor in our pjs.

118 days left until my parents start asking, “so when are you guys going to have kids?”

118 days left of not having to explain why I watched the same Lifetime movie four times in one week.

But then I am reminded that life is a series of comings and goings. By trying to hold on so tightly to what I have, I am forgetting that where I’m going can be just as beautiful. Chris’s uncle Sean and aunt Barb like to say, “all relationships have an end.” To this I say, “all relationships have new beginnings.”

So, Chris… in 118 days, you can become my new roommate. And Janet… in 118 days, you can become my lifelong friend. Chris… you will be forced to deal with the fact that I leave wet towels on the bed. Janet… you will have to put up with me coming over on a weekly basis to watch whatever show we’re obsessed with that season.

And mom, please don’t ask when we’re going to have kids for at least another year.

But as we talked further, I realized… it’s not the institution of marriage itself that’s intimidating… rather, it’s all the things that you’re expected to do once you’re hitched—namely, buy a house and have kids. In fact, there’s almost a vague expectation that you’re getting married just to do those things, since everything else that used to be verboten for single people (sex, living together, going to bed at 10 PM on Saturday night) is now commonplace.

If you really stop and think about it, buying a house and having kids are far more expensive and irreversible decisions than getting married. I proposed to Jaime because I was finally ready to give house and child-ownership a try…

At some point.
In theory.
Maybe.
If she wants them.

But those will be even bigger hurdles than the wedding itself… and I know how long it took me to propose, even when I knew it was the right thing.

So for you married or formerly-married people out there, how challenging was the jump into buying a house and/or having kids? Did those decisions strengthen your relationship or torpedo it? And how long did you wait after getting married to give them a try?