wedding road trip

Mini Golf and Veuve

In the Mahoney household, things happen fast. From the second they opened the door to the moment we left, life was happening at a breakneck speed. Kids laughing, dogs barking, parents shouting. I haven’t seen Tanya in three years, but from the moment I first saw her again, I felt at home.

Within fifteen minutes of arriving at Tanya and Bill’s house in Irving, Texas:

• Bill popped open a bottle of Vueve Clicquot, subsequently cementing his place on my list of Top Ten Spouses for-evah.

• Tanya’s dog Dutch humped me on the leg and from behind approximately 422 times.

• Tanya handed me a copy of Dallas magazine to “use as blog fodder.” I am currently employing my secret sources to investigate whether she’s been hired by the Chamber of Commerce to convince Chris and me to move to the Lone Star state. After being plied with champagne and my own personal doggie “friend”, I have my suspicions.

Within thirty minutes of arriving at Tanya and Bill’s house, we were playing miniature golf across the street, drinks in hand. Even though I was once a member of the prestigious PMGA, I managed to show how well I can slide into last place after just one drink. Bill, on the other hand, mastered the course like he lived across the street from it. Which, coincidentally, he does.

Can we just pause for a moment and say… SERIOUSLY? I mean… SERIOUSLY? How many people have a MINIATURE GOLF COURSE basically in their yard? To add insult to injury, the house two doors down from them, a 4,000 square foot, gorgeous home complete with pool was selling for $500,000, which is basically the cost of a studio in San Francisco. Tanya was quick to point out that the house for sale right next door, a smaller version of the house on the corner, is going for three and change, which is approximately what you’d pay to own a cardboard box in the Bay Area. Grr…

Little did I know what was in store for us at dinner…