wedding road trip

Breaking and Entering

We didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s screen. Honestly, we didn’t. When Chrissy said that she was replacing her windows and wouldn’t mind us climbing through one to get into the house, I took her at her word. As I documented the event using our trusty Canon Rebel, Chris worked his way into the house, where he was greeted by The Cat Formerly Known As Tom. Tom has never been Mr. Svelte, but he has gained a sizeable ass since our last meet and greet. Then again, after more than twenty days on the road, so have we. T.C.F.K.A.T. has a new little friend, who I like to call Mouthy. Mouthy has something to say about pretty much everything, including the fact that Chris almost nosedived into the kitty litter box when crawling through the window.

So no, we didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s screen. I swear.

We also didn’t mean to break Chrissy and Matt’s guest bedroom doorknob. It just “happened.” There I was, toweling off after a shower, when Chris tried to re-enter the room. MRS. HODGES, I WAS FULLY CLOTHED, I PROMISE. Trouble was, Chris couldn’t open the door once it was shut. I passed him a screwdriver under the door and he proceeded to take off the knob. Nothing. Embarrassed and frustrated, he called Chrissy, who was still at work. He also got in contact with Alina, the friend we were supposed to be meeting for drinks. I just sat in the room and Twittered, which sounds really dirty but isn’t.

A half an hour later, there was a knock on the front door. Chris, still in his towel, answered the door to find J.C. and Liz, friends of Chrissy and Matt. JC quickly went to work by climbing a ladder up to the second floor, where he instructed me on how to remove the hinges. Twenty minutes later I was free, thanks to my super hot screwdriver skills.

Chrissy and Matt, we vow to keep our hands to ourselves for the rest of the visit.