We totally suck.
You come here expecting your daily road report and instead find radio silence. Not cool.
To make up for it, we’re going to attempt the longest drive in the history of Wedding Road Trip. Yep. Seventeen hours of penance to pay for our inability to update every social networking site on an hourly basis.
Currently, we’re on the road somewhere between drive-thru BBQ in Austin and a fireworks hut in central Texas. By the end of this drive, we’ll be swimming and sunning in Tampa, Florida. Except that it will be two in the morning. So I guess it’s more likely that we’ll be passed out on a hotel bed instead.
During this drive, Chris and I will work hard to catch you up on the days that you’ve missed: champagne mini golf in Dallas, the almost-breakup in Irving, and the epic convo in Houston that almost sent Chris straight to the airport. We’ve got all. Even animal porn. Not really.
For now, we’re on part one of six, as we’ve split the drive into three-hour segments. Chris smartly chose segment one, knowing that I’d be totally screwed once we got to segment six, which will fall roughly between eleven in the evening and two in the morning. It’s fine by me, because I know that I’m the real rock star when we pull into the parking lot at the end of the drive.
Catch you in a few.
The main reaction we hear when explaining our trip to people is delight and amazement. “That sounds great,” “how cool,” “wish I had done that for our wedding” (that’s my favorite).
However, a surprisingly frequent response is “that sounds so relaxing” or “what a great vacation!” I hate to break it to everyone, but… this is not going to be a pleasure cruise.
- We’ll be covering 11,000 miles in 42 days, visiting around 38 cities and 200 people. That’s a lot of sensory input.
- Mapquest estimates some of our drives as 14+ hours. I get antsy after 3 hours in a car.
- As a personal dare, we are driving without a CD player or iPod, and just relying on AM radio. (Ok, I’m kidding.)
- iTunes claims I have almost 5 days of music on my laptop. That should cover us for the first quarter of the trip. By the time we reach Philly, we’ll be pretty tired of every song we own and very sick of NPR.
- We won’t be spending more than three nights in any one place, and will be guests of friends and family almost every night.
- We may not like some places. For example, I’m a little edgy about Texas, since I imagine that anyone who’s ever voted to the left of Barry Goldwater is viewed suspiciously outside of Austin. On the other hand, I love BBQ, so Texas is worth the visit for the food alone.
- I still have no idea how we’ll do laundry.
Now don’t me wrong, I am so looking forward to this trip - to see friends and new places, learn different ways of life, and get a break from the ordinary. But there is very little relaxation planned. Every place we are visiting is with the intention of visiting people. We considered side trips to the Outer Banks and Montreal…but we would have had to cut out visits to some friends and that’s not the point of the trip.
Before you feel bad for us, though, Jaime and I already know that we are not fans of relaxing vacations. Last year we went to Mexico for a week and tried relaxing on the beach, just clearing our minds and decompressing. But within a few hours, we were talking with people, playing volleyball or bingo, and planning excursions. We just like being on the go.
And any day you drive from Santa Fe to Dallas for 10 hours, but get to see Oklahoma City for the first time, eat some great BBQ, and visit old friends - well, that’s a good day.
Chris and I were chatting yesterday about, what else, the road trip, when I threw out yet another destination for our (almost finished) route…
Jaime: You know we have to go through Birmingham, Alabama.
Chris (already suspicious): Why? We’re not back on the Dolly Parton thing are we?
Jaime: No, we need to visit Chris Hodges.
Chris: I am too tired to even begin to understand this one.
You see, Chris Hodges is the pastor of the Church of the Highlands, a relatively well-known congregation in Birmingham. He’s all over the net, which means if I’m ever google-stalking my Chris, I have to sift through, oh, about a hundred pages about Pastor Chris.
It gets even better. As it turns out, there is a reverend named Jaime Case at a seminary in Austin, Texas who always shows up first in search engine results for my name. Jaime actually seems like pretty upstanding guy. In the past, we’ve shared email correspondence and he’s even been kind enough to let me add him as one of my Facebook friends. Not surprisingly, both Jaime and Chris are married (not to each other), which makes them prime candidates for a road trip visit from the “real” Jaime and Chris.
Chris: Wow. The story of the dueling pastors. That would make a great blog entry!
Jaime: Dude, you so can’t steal my good ideas. Come up with your own.
Chris: You know I don’t come up with original ideas. I just customize them.
Jaime: That’s like a thief saying he doesn’t steal, he just “borrows.”
In the end…
Score: Jaime 1, Chris 0.
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