wedding road trip

Separation Anxiety

This weekend, for the first time in seemingly years (actually, seven weeks), Jaime and I are apart. We weren’t desperately craving separation – to our total surprise, we got along great during the longest stretch of the Wedding Road Trip, didn’t need very much alone time, and actually enjoyed one another’s company.  I know, shocker.

But now she’s off in Minnesota at a bachelorette and I’m crashing at my aunt’s, so in many ways the WRT has not stopped: we’re both living out of a suitcase.

For me, the major change in these 48+ hours has been to my demeanor. I’m very prone to adjusting to my environment, which is partially a skill and partially a weakness. With Jaime around, I’m more focused and project-oriented. After our six weeks on the road together, I was getting fairly driven (no pun intended) and was developing all kinds of project ideas.

But now, alone in the wilderness and without her to push me, I’ve backslid to my old habits – reading news stories on the Internet, meeting up with friends, and exploring the city. These are all good things, but they aren’t exactly the path to adventure or accomplishment.

However, our road trip has made some permanent changes in me. I’ve spent a lot time the last two days writin, prepping for the wedding, and thinking about the projects I’d like to pursue – both hobbies and income-generating ideas (with male gigolo conveniently in both categories). This is a total shift for me, because in the past, I’d always thought of free time as something to be filled with harmless entertainment, such as drinking or watching Australian-rules football. But I’m learning that fun and happiness are not necessarily the same thing.

So, the time apart is good for us, and intellectually interesting as well.  But I miss Jaime. Roxy and I will fetch her from SFO tonight and we’ll both be happy to see her again.

Tags: day 51 san francisco, wedding road trip san francisco