Day 27: Mr. Brender’s Wild Ride

mr toad's wild ride As a child, one of my favorite attractions at Disneyland was Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. I used to make my dad sit through it several times in a row, each time hoping that he’d pretend that we really would run into a wall or get bulldozed by an uncoming train. He never failed me, which is really just a small view into my dad as a whole- a man who has continually supported my sometimes crazy dreams and has always known how to have a little bit of fun.

I never, ever thought I’d have the chance to experience Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in real life. And then I met Brender.

Brender is a friend of Chris’s from undergrad. He’s smart, funny, hardworking and just a little bit nuts. I’d had the opportunity to meet him and his wife Wendy a couple of times back in San Francisco and can honestly say I am nowhere closer to figuring him out. Hanging out with Brender is what I’ve always imagined an acid trip might be: colorful, wild, and a little unpredictable.

When Chris and I arrived in New Jersey this afternoon, it was pouring rain in a way that said, “San Francisco misses you.” Brender, who had decided to work from home for the day, immediately poured Chris a drink and dropped on to the couch to watch American soccer and to play Grand Theft Auto. Meanwhile, I absconded upstairs to try to resuscitate my dying Mac.

Four hours later, Chris came upstairs to let me know that we needed to leave to go meet his wife Wendy at a nearby restaurant. Brender asked me to drive, as both he and Chris were now two to three drinks into the afternoon. Since Roxy’s always up for an adventure, we jumped in the car and drove off.

The following is a transcription of what happened, as best as I can remember it:

Jaime: So, we’re meeting Wendy at 5:30?
Brender: Na, she can’t meet us till 7:00.
Jaime: We’re only five minutes from the house. I can drive back.
Brender: We’ll just drive around for awhile.

A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:

Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left there. Oh well. That was a cool place. We’ll see something else.

A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:

Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left there. Oh well. That was a cool place. We’ll see something else.

A few minutes pass with Brender talking about this and that. Suddenly:

Brender: (pointing backwards) Turn left-

Without listening to the rest, I slammed my foot into the pedal, wrenched Roxy to the left and flew over the median and into a parking lot.

Jaime: Let me guess, we’re about to see something cool.

Turns out, we did. Brender had led us to an overlook that showcased a spectacular view of New Jersey, with a distant slice of New York City. I would show you a picture, but of course it was the day that I decided to leave my camera at home because it was raining and we were heading straight to dinner (cough, cough).

Back in the car, we drove through Montclair, which is filled with houses that make Bel Air mansions look tiny. Meanwhile:

Brender: You can turn left at some point if you want.
Jaime: If I “want”?
Brender: Ya, just somewhere around here.
Jaime: Like here?
Brender: Sure, if you want.

Eventually we ended up at our destination of downtown Montclair. We walked down the street for about ten minutes before Brender made a quick left into a small restaurant. If I hadn’t been paying attention, he would have disappeared and Chris and I would still be walking through Montclair as we speak. Inside, Wendy sat waiting. I looked at my phone, which read 6:15pm.

Jaime: I thought you said she was coming at 7pm?
Brender: I guess she’s here now.

And just like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, we drove up to a little patch of sunshine and all was well again.

wedding road trip