wedding road trip

Top Ten Things a Vendor Should Never, Ever Do

After dealing with vendors for the past two months, I have gathered these rules and bylines. Vendors, proceed with caution and…

#10   Never, ever, promise to give me something for free and then take it back.
This is kind of like when I tell Chris he’s going to get lucky if he comes over that night and I end up making us watch America’s Next Top Model instead. So.Not.Cool.

#9   Never, ever promise me that you’ll deliver a contract by a certain date and then send it several days later.
In economic times such as these, the buyer (aka me and brides all over the country) is queen and the wedding industry must grovel. A late contract equals no contract.

#8   Never, ever spell my name wrong.
I know, I know… I have a really complicated name… Jaime. Or is it Jamie? So, so difficult. Especially when my name is spelled out clearly in my email address.

#7    Never, ever talk &!@! about a competitor.
Oh, you think you’re all cute couching your put downs in diplomatic double speak, but I’m no fool. I know when you say “minimalistic decor” you really mean “cheap bastards.”

#6   Never, ever talk #@$ about another bride.
My mother taught me this rule and it has stuck with me. Again, I’m no fool. If you’re talking crap about Bridezilla #1, it won’t be too long before you’re talking to her about Bridezilla #2 (aka… me).

#5   Never, ever try to fake me out by saying someone else is two seconds away from booking the same date as me.
I know that in an industry as busy as the wedding industry, simultaneous booking is possible. But given the number of times a vendor has told me this over the past two months (nine times out of ten), I am going to have to say… not freaking likely. Honestly, if it is true, you’re so bad at closing the deal, you’re probably not going to close mine either.

#4   Never, ever send me a contract that isn’t proofed first.
Believe it or not, I do notice when you put the wrong wedding date, wrong location, and wrong groom’s name. It makes me think that you proofed my contract while simultaneously milking a herd of cows and watching reruns of The Simple Life.

#3   Never, ever try to sell me on how popular you and your product are.
If you’ve talked with me for more than five seconds, you’ll quickly realize that the last thing I want is something that everyone else wants.

#2   Never, ever add a service charge on to the package pricing.
Be smart, kids. Include your service charge in the per person pricing and your clients will be none-the-wiser. They will feel like they’ve gotten a STEAL. There is something so simple about knowing that the cost per head is inclusive of every charge.

#1   Never, ever bully me.
City Hall is a short walk from my apartment. I’ll be there faster than you can spell J-A-I-M-E… or is it Jamie?

Tags: wedding business, wedding vendors