wedding road trip

Day 19: It’s Just a Burrito

It all began in the Big K parking lot. I was inside Kmart buying a few quarts of oil for Roxy Fusion and Chris was over at Papa’s and Beers (not THE Papas and Beers) buying us lunch.

Before I go further with this story, let me say that even at the ripe old age of 21 (cough, cough), I still have issues with entering Kmart. When I was a kid, it was chain-store-non-grata. Only poor kids got their clothes at Kmart and it was just plain embarrassing to be seen there. Of course, I probably should have listened to my grandmother, who always used to tell me, “well, if someone sees you in Kmart, they’re in there too.”

Let’s just pause and allow that one to sink in.

After leaving the Big K with more than I intended to buy (evil Kate and Jon were on the cover of Us Weekly, I had to learn more…), I walked across the parking lot, where Chris was waiting for our lunch. We added some oil to Roxy, who lapped it up with a happy purr.  Soon after we were in the car and heading toward the freeway when:

Jaime: (opening the box containing her burrito): Did you tell them to put sauce on this?
Chris: (expletive, expletive, expletive): NO! WTF? (opens his burrito container) What the? (expletive, expletive)
Jaime: No worries. (slices into the burrito) There’s no rice in here?
Chris: WTF? (expletive, expletive, expletive) These North Carolinians are idiots! I told them no sauce! I told them to add rice!
Jaime: It’s just a burrito. We can go back and get two new ones. I don’t mind waiting.
Chris: And wait fifteen more minutes? (digs into his burrito) I’ll just sit here and eat this. (grumble, grumble, grumble, pause) This burrito sucks.

I’d like to say that at this point that Chris got over the burrito. But that wouldn’t be as good of a story, would it? Ten minutes later, he’s pulled over in a parking lot, angrily pounding something into his iPhone.

Jaime: What are you doing?
Chris: I’m changing my Facebook status.
Jaime: To what?
Chris: North Carolina is beautiful. Too bad it’s the home of the stupidest people in America.
Jaime: Because of a BURRITO?!?
Chris: The oil lady at the gas station was pretty stupid too.

The war still wages as as I sit here in the passenger seat, desperately hoping that they have good customer service in Knoxville.

Tags: asheville wedding road trip, day 19 asheville north carolina, north carolina wedding road trip